Why Gloves Should Come Back In Fashion

Sometimes life likes to hand us a handful of, dare I say it, crap. It’s draining, it feels like it will never end, and you feel trapped in a Lovecraftian nightmare. Inevitably in the midst all this, some overly optimistic person, who most likely has a copy of “Girl Wash Your Face” on their nightstand, will tell you that “things could be worse, just put it in perspective.” Throat punching your friends is socially unacceptable, and will most likely add to your problems. A genteel slap with an elegant glove however, is an excellent way to get their attention and express your feelings about their “advice”.

There is no quicker way to invalidate someone’s feelings, and add to the steaming pile that is their life at that moment, than to tell someone how much worse someone else has it. Now life sucks, and you feel guilty for feeling like life sucks.

Gentle reader, I am here to tell you, your feelings are valid. Your experiences are yours, you can be upset, ragey, disappointed, any or combination of those. Does someone out there have it worse, most likely. Does that change what you’re going through? Not at all. 

There does come a point at which you need to put on your favorite lipstick (or t-shirt, or wig), your most dazzling boxing gloves, and face the world.  Your best friend Cindy, smiling at you with her freshly whitened teeth, perfectly manicured nails, and “Live Laugh Love” plaque telling you to “Just put things in perspective” is not going to get you to that point. If you feel like you will never get to there, I recommend you get thee to a medical professional. There’s no shame in needing chemical help. Brains are jerks.

Some people say every day is a gift. That may be true, but I think we can all agree, some days feel an awful lot like a gag gift.